In the life of KiLLUH leigh...

You're right Phil. It's not your fault. And the worst part IS my trying to get out of my answer.

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 01:16:24 GMT

R u and ur bf serious?

I think so. As serious as two teens can be anyways.

wait.... we're serious??? ummm... when did that happen??? by Navygrunt2007

Lmfao, nevermind.

Whoever asked that question earlier, if ^^^^ that didn't answer your question then IDK what will.

big and bold is the questions asked by other people
Little and normal are my answers.

Strike two , I think. Once again, humiliated. :/

Wow, way to make me feel like shit.

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 02:20:32 GMT

Mason Lusk

Robert i do believe your dating a high school student

Yesterday at 10:13pm · Report

Robert Holscher

yea... that was really slow in the process... and not at all something im proud of

Yesterday at 10:19pm · Report

Damn baby, you're so good at sweet talk.

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 07:38:09 GMT

"im not settling or settling down right now... im just enjyoing being with you... is that not enough at this point?"

Funny how that wasn't even a break up, but I cried like it was. Because that's all you said just then.
"I'm not planning to be with you for a long time, or forever. I just want a good time, with no strings attached. Why can't you see that?"
Basically, we're back to where we were before.
Okay... I am back to where we were before, because you were never there nor bothered by it as I.

But here we are again, at SQUARE ONE: I think you've fallen for me much more than I'll ever fall for you.

You just said it again. All you did was reword it.

So it's the same shit, different day.
Except this time, it's worse. I've got emotions tangled up in you now. I love you. And you know that.
Or maybe you don't, which is why you keep fucking with me.

You can't tell me you love me the way that you do... And you can't tell me the things that you do... And then tell me that.
I don't know what to do with myself.
I want to love you.
But I want to not love you.

I'm afraid of you hurting me.
I'm afraid of you just changing your mind on me.

"I hope I'm never stupid enough to leave you."
"I really do love you."
I never want to hurt you."

I just keep replaying these things over and over in my mind and wonder how you can say the things that you do so casually.

I love you.
And I hate you.
All at the same fucking time.

It's crazy how those three little words from people can change people's lives.

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 10:59:55 GMT

It's like instantly, things are known to you that weren't before.

Well, we said it last night. And I totally didn't expect to hear it for the longest time.

I really want this

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 21:16:35 GMT

http://fortmyers.craigslist.org/chl/cto/1611224890.html
It might not be my dream car, or even my dream TRUCK, but it's a car. A GOOD car. Only a decade old. And for somewhat cheap.

Talking to my parents tonight, lol.

Fuck it!

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 16:44:05 GMT

I'm not quitting! Not anything!
I'm going to continue my uncontrollable passion for sex, drugs, & rock 'n' roll because I'm a teenager with a growing brain.

kthx.

Can't wait to see Ness this weekend!

Do you know what it feels like, loving someone?

Mon, 15 Feb 2010 17:31:57 GMT

Blahblah, Phil... You're so great. But... You're too much for me to handle. You're becoming my Taylor. Except, he wasn't this bad. And I don't even know you. You can't do this. You make me feel like shit about 90% of the time just because I don't freaking talk to you.

And Bobby... You're amazing. No joke. But am I ready to be committed to somebody again? I know that I feel the way that I should if I'm going to commit. But do I have the attitude? The ability to be just his? I fear that I lost that somewhere along the road... And I don't want to hurt Bobby. Because at this point, he may be strong on his own... But he's not on his own anymore. He's with me. Therefore, I have the power to make and break him.

Am I ready to let somebody else in and trust that they won't hurt me? I mean, I don't think he wants forever, so expecting a breakup would just be expected, right? Am I ready to quit the bad habits that I have just because I know it would make you happy?

Am I able to be happy with you?

"I really, really like you babe. But I don't want to say I love you yet. But sometimes... I really do want to."

Okay, so now I know you love me.

Sat, 13 Feb 2010 06:57:12 GMT

You don't need to say it. Everything you do clearly shows it. Tonight was amazing.

And I know I love you...

but I'm so afraid I'll break you.

F my L.

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 04:55:07 GMT

I guess I'm forcibly quitting my nicotine addiction. This is killer.

Today, I slept all day.

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 06:28:11 GMT

I had many plans for the day, but... Instead, I felt like crap and went to bed moody. I woke up at twelve. Not feeling any less moody. I'm up and down. Blah. I miss Bobby. I miss my friends. I hate school. I'm failing at things I used to be good at.

You know... Everytime you look at me and I can swear that you're thinking it... I get so scared.

You're not perfect.

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 04:15:28 GMT

But then again, neither am I.
But I try to be.
For you.

I love you.

Tue, 02 Feb 2010 05:59:26 GMT

And I had to stop myself from saying it quite a few times tonight.

You're more amazing than I thought you would be.

But I know you don't feel the same. :(

:D

Mon, 01 Feb 2010 03:34:12 GMT

I FINALLY HAVE MY OWN INTERNET! YAYZ!

Last night was LONG AS HELL.

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 17:19:41 GMT

Called up Bobby cuhz I wanted to make plans. I really, really wanted to go out last night and moreso be out with him... but I called him up to make plans and he was 'already going out.' Figures. See what happens when I try to make plans bub? Yep.

Okay, so Nick & I went out then. We went out and we went to BJ's and hung out with Trish and talked to her for a while. I really like her, I'm glad Ben found somebody good.

So then we went and picked up Alec & Lance and we went out to the Firepit and talked and checked out girls and had a few laughs.

Then we went bowling, that was freaking awesome. Won a few bucks.

Then we went and got into a car accident. Met a WAY cutie that tried to stop. Shoulda asked for his number. Had to call Williams and Ben and Bronson to get our ass out. I hurt my neckish back area and my ankle's swole up and my head has a cut on it. Nothing big.

Then I came home and passed out. Blah.

Apparently...

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 20:50:55 GMT

When somebody else's boyfriend kisses me... That makes it my fault. Lol

One of us needs to make up our minds.

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 20:35:44 GMT

We three are just sitting ducks at the moment... And you know what, maybe I'm the only one who cares about the fact that we can't seem to make a decision BUT it DOES bother me.

And maybe I'm mostly bothered because I can't make up a decision on my own. I need one of you two to make a decision so that I can base my decision off of yours.
Because if just ONE of you made up your friggin minds... I'd know what to do. But you aren't.

And therefore I'm stuck in a neverending confused state.

So maybe that is all that we want...

Sat, 23 Jan 2010 18:05:11 GMT

Does it have to be the end of us?

I mean... Don't get me wrong, I didn't think there'd be a forever because

I'm not letting another opportunity go.
You & I just aren't 'forever and ever' kinda people. We're more like 'always and never.'

And you know what... I know that's horrible, but that's the way it seems to be with me and errbody.
Jess and me. Taylor and me. Bobby and me. Patrick and me. Nick and me. I've got so many more examples...

Maybe I should just close my mind to this.
:s

I guess we're learning our answer.

Fri, 22 Jan 2010 02:49:28 GMT

I hope not though. :x

Now everything's back to the way it was :((

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 03:46:33 GMT

Do you think we'll ever have our chance again?

Sheeit.

Mon, 18 Jan 2010 09:04:12 GMT

I have never wanted something this badly. It was in my fingertips and then somehow I lost it...
Will I ever get it back again? I have been so lucky so many times before.

And omfg, my room is almost clean lyk w0wz.

Don't be such a bitch.

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 05:35:48 GMT

You act like staying outside is the worst thing that you think I do.
It's not like we're out there fucking & we're not even kissing bro.
I'm tired of your complaining for no reason. It accomplishes nothing aside from pissing me off because you are ALMOST NEVER justified.

I think you should be slightly more appreciative. I've become much more of a better person since I've started dating Bobby.
I don't break the rules, and I don't fuck with school, and I definitely don't fuck around to be with him.
Stop hating me for shit that's already down the fucking drain.

Oh, & fabulous.
Now will really test us... Are we nothing more than simple teenage lust or is there actually feelings?

Okay you're a goon, but what's a goon to a goblin?

Sat, 16 Jan 2010 17:53:43 GMT

Nothing, nothing, you don't mean nothing.

Lorrell ain't shit to me bro ;)
So Neal, lol, stop tripping out.

I'm not going to let Bobby cheat on me.
CORRECTION: I like Bobby a lot, but if he cheats on me then I'll leave like he meant nothing at all.

But I trust him, so I don't think he'll do that.
I think he's crazy about me and doesn't know what to do with himself.

I told you... I'm something else.

I've got my great friends, and a great family, and a great boyfriend.
Please life, don't get confusing on me now.

If you want me to do this for you,

Mon, 11 Jan 2010 22:25:24 GMT

then you've got to convince me that you really want it.

The first New Years' Resolution that I've ever made...

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 16:25:01 GMT

And I'm following through... I didn't for the first few days, lol, but I am now.

Day three for meeeeeee :D

I missed school today because my body didn't want to wake up due to recovering from my being sick.
Oh well, that just means more Runescape time and less time with the boy tonight?
I'll see him sometime this weekend, <3

(edit) : I should probably clean my room today to guarantee wireless, hm? Yep. I'll work on that. Maybe.

Did I seriously just agree to try to be your friend?

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 04:19:51 GMT

What the fuck is wrong with me?